


the words you did not say, in cursive

by atroxareia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Oikage Week, taller kageyama, well this is the opposite of that and no you cannot, which is still and forever important, you know how ppl say 'idk this can be read as platonic i guess??'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 08:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11460054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atroxareia/pseuds/atroxareia
Summary: Kageyama causes things beyond his comprehension.





	the words you did not say, in cursive

**Author's Note:**

> Another freakishly late entry for Oikage Week, Day 3.  
> “I want the fact that I existed to mean something” – Chapin

 

It was one of the rare occasions their team spent time together idly, they usually did not have long talks apart from their game related discussions. It was their coach’s idea for them to go out and have some “quality bonding time”, considering most of the members barely knew each others’ first names, save for the ones in the same grade.

Iwaizumi was the one who opened the topic inadvertently when he said he probably would go into something science related in college so he was aiming for a specialized high school while Oikawa was busy ranting about one of their teachers.

Kunimi’s murmur about preferring literature followed and Kindaichi seemed enthusiastic about mathematics.

“I always wanted to discover something new,” Oikawa then said with a louder voice, cutting the rest of their indecisive buzzing before long.

Kageyama didn’t really relate to any of this. He just wanted to play volleyball – he had thought senpai he admired so much would also say, equally enthusiastically, that he wanted to be the best setter, play volleyball and that was it – but the first sentence Oikawa had said was something unrelated and completely unexpected. Afterwards he did indeed continue with how he also wanted to play professionally _of course, naturally, what else_ \- there was a scoff at Iwaizumi who questioned it, there - and become the star setter, but the point was that it obviously wasn’t what came to his mind first.

It baffled Kageyama.

As things related to Oikawa tended to do.

As most people tended to do, but he barely paid any attention to anyone else. He didn’t ponder on why Oikawa was so special.

But the words continued to bother him through time, bringing a frown every time they sprang to his mind. He felt almost cheated out of something, he just wasn’t sure what it was.

 

-

 

Next time a similar discussion occurred, they were in high school but Oikawa was about to leave for university. Kageyama actually had the audacity to visit his graduation but he wasn’t received as badly as he thought he would, Oikawa actually seemed to be in a better mood than usual, thanking him for coming and puzzling him even more. Kageyama wasn’t even sure how he ended up there, the train of thought was lost somewhere during his talk with third years in Karasuno where he mentioned Oikawa’s graduation ceremony being held that day but he had the vague feeling that he somehow had been _convinced_ into this. He pushed the thought away for a later time since a greater puzzlement was standing in front of him with a weird expression and a suspiciously pink face.

“My dream?” he sounded surprised when Kageyama asked that, as if out of nowhere, two minutes into their talk when Oikawa mentioned the field he was meant to study at.  “Why are you asking me this?”

“You said it was to discover something back then,” Kageyama replied with an impatient frown.

“To discover something,” Oikawa repeated with a blank face this time, as if he didn’t really understand it.

Kageyama frowned deeper and didn’t say anything else. Oikawa’s confusion was baffling and somewhat infuriating. It was something that was in the back of his own mind but Oikawa seemed to have been just reminded of that, as if that wasn’t _him_ who started this _nonsense_  about discoveries. Kageyama realized that he was angry - just, he wasn’t sure what he was angry about.

 

-

 

He was in his last year in high school when they ran across each other again, Oikawa was cheerful this time and Kageyama, pleasantly tired out from practice. Oikawa had been playing professionally for the good half of the year but Kageyama was already well known throughout the country among their circle. He thought his senior would be somewhat bitter about it. He automatically frowned at him, waiting for a caustic remark accompanied with a childish, spoiled tone.

“Tobio,” he smiled at him. “I was thinking of giving you a call.”

Kageyama was taken aback. Oikawa seemed.. serene. Oddly peaceful. Was he drunk? Was he sick? There was no mocking edge to his tone, no defensive body language, no implication of animosity.

“Why?” His own tone sounded too aggressive even to his own ears but Oikawa didn’t even comment on it, just tilted his head, eyes crinkling with amusement with a smile Kageyama couldn’t help but classify as _cute_ in the back of his mind.

“To talk. Do you have time?”

Kageyama nodded in confusion. He actually did not have time but the fact he had exams that week did not even register at the sudden turn of events and he found himself at a place where he could best describe as a _couples’ cafe_ with his former senpai.

He had never felt more baffled in his entire life.

“You grew up,” Oikawa said when they sat down, same sweet smile on his face while he scanned the menu. His cheeks looked rather pink to Kageyama but he couldn’t tell if it was just the reflection of the color surrounding them. He eyed the decoration as if pink tables and shimmering pastel wallpaper had offended him personally.

There was a small chuckle. Kageyama turned to him and promptly frowned, confused out of his wits. He didn’t know what to say at all. He wasn’t prepared to deal with things like this. He struggled to remember social cues he tried to pick up over the years from more socially adept people which practically would be everyone else but none of the data at hand seemed to correspond to the current situation of “my-former-senpai-who-is-also-my-rival-dragged-me-to-a-cafe-and-everything’s-pink”.

“You seem different,” he ended up saying.

“Do I? I guess that’s a good thing,” Oikawa said, still suspiciously tranquil. Kageyama felt like he should check to see if he had fever. This was all too strange.

After convincing him that he was paying since he was the one who invited him out and Kageyama should feel free to order what he wanted, Oikawa himself settled for overly syrupy coffee and white chocolate raspberry cake both of which Kageyama kept eyeing with distaste over his own regular black coffee and chocolate cake. Soon enough, Oikawa’s face became serious.

“Do you hate me?”

Kageyama choked on the remnants of the cake. Oikawa was looking at him with genuine curiosity and perhaps a bit of sadness in his face.

“Where did-that-“Kageyama coughed, “Why would you ask-“

“I was terrible, Tobio,” Oikawa frowned a bit. “You know that.”

Kageyama stared at him, even more confused. He didn’t think either of them were particularly good or especially terrible and bringing this up seemed quite irrelevant at this point. They were rivals, not enemies and he doubted anything they did had any potential to draw out a persistent negativity.

“I.. never hated you,” he finally said, weirded out that Oikawa would think he would hate him.

“Good,” Oikawa said, momentary surprise on his face leaving its place back to a genuine smile when he turned his attention to his cake.

Then it was Kageyama’s turn to stare.

 

He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there, with Oikawa acting odd and Kageyama in utter perplexity, but when they were finally out, Kageyama had to say something about it.

“You seem happy.”

“I _am_ happy.”

“I am being recruited to the national team for the next year,” Kageyama finally blurted out what had been on his mind throughout their meeting. He was sure there would be a familiar reaction now, he would see the regular Oikawa he was used to, the one whose second nature was to compete with him.

His former senpai looked at him with an unreadable expression for a brief moment.

“I’m not surprised,” his reply came as that bemusing soft smile spread across his face. “I always knew you’d make it.”

“Aren’t you mad?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I have other things I love,” Oikawa said. “You know what my greatest dream was. You asked it.”

“Oh.”

“Then I remembered how much I wanted it,” he explained, his tone even softer. “I had forgotten it along the way.”

Kageyama was stunned.

“I’m glad,” he said, not knowing what to do with this knowledge, “that you love your field.”

Oikawa smiled. “That’s not the only thing I love.”

“There’s still volleyball,” Kageyama mused.

Oikawa sighed, half amused, half exasperated; then he gave in and ruffled Kageyama’s hair. Kageyama, who was now taller than him, slightly bowed his head into his hand with a clueless expression, unable to figure out what garnered that reaction.

Oikawa smiled.

“Do you want to come over?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is EXACTLY what i meant when i said writing kageyama's pov is like describing the environment.
> 
> Also, jsyk, I apparently added the "then they had sex" as a note at the end of the doc and now im laughing bc it seems that i cannot have them not having sex for like just one moment JFC I NEED TO GET A FUCKING GRIP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD


End file.
